stranger to speak

you

2006-04-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

i don't want porn alright.
it's too accessible.
don't need it. don't want it.
can do without.
but where are you?
so hard to get.

don't know

2006-03-27T04:42:00.000-08:00

sometimes, you just don't know. and you admit it. but quick, act upon it. move ahead. refresh.

gotta get things out

2006-01-01T05:03:00.000-08:00

today is the first day of two thousand and six. sounds like we've come a long way from the time things seemed old and impossible. we'd like to think there's so much more to achieve. indeed, i watch people ascend from frame to frame, sometimes pausing to admire some graceful mid-air stills. other things are dimmed for a moment, even myself. there shall be no dust particles coming into view but light eternal that maintains its value. return, escape, delete, control, home...how would we move on without these simple keys. it's so difficult to gauge and express how much i've actually moved or grown. relativity matters to me. so that means how much the people i know have grown and moved ahead does matter.

watching the fireworks break over Bandar Utama's night sky was beautiful. * the view from Chris' room was spectacular and the fireworks just kept coming for quite a long while. couldn't help being amazed. Chris in his towel wrapped round the waist and wet, the mattress heating up under the lap top, and mum almost torn away from what she was doing by the luring explosive calls of something which beauty her sons exaggerated. but it was beautiful. so there, See Hoy Chan's empire. The airspace and below, lit up with the afterglow of pyrotechnics.

in my silent husk, i've received love and concern. toys and mail. precious complexities and simple things alike. i wonder how idleness could hurt and destroy my surroundings. ah, when i fail to extract its true value. oh, when i can hardly forget them anyway.

tsk, and u shall not receive.

2005-12-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

picture this: a blue sunset,
when wishes aren't met,
and if you're still around,
i said i won't let you down,
tomorrow i could only do
so much better with you,
{dreams left to fairytale off...}

my father said
"we have been together twenty four years,
the Lord and I;
it is like a marriage."

That's love right there.

the soul is a weeping bowl

2005-12-18T04:04:00.000-08:00

when the heart aches
the soul is a weeping bowl
and i grow out of control

when the heart breaks
the soul is a leaking bowl
and i grow out of control

and i will send you home
and i will send you home
yes i will send you home
(repeat)

if when the heart breaks, the soul is weeping

2005-12-03T05:33:00.000-08:00

oh jamie...

in These are the days, 2:23-2:35. twentysomething.
tender yet strong.
if only...but if only...
...i caught you in a rushofbloodtothehead.
scrambled heart. broken yolk. ain't sunny side up.

stranger to speak

2005-12-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

thanks for dropping by!
where's the comment?

fretbored

2005-11-22T08:49:00.000-08:00

the easiest chord on the fretboard,
lies somewhere between your mind and your fingers.
'cause you know how it looks inside
but your frustrated dyslexic fingers are fat from trying to work it out...

2005-09-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

betchanevanu tribe vibe

waist down i'm tucked
under a quilt that often wraps perfectly
twins-speakers play reverberating church organ music
that death cab uses to communicate in an intro
this is the first time i'm staying up through the morning
to accomplish something
my tongue feels the room in my mouth and reaches the roof
"i love you," out of the blue i utter.
who am i saying this to?
you're in my thoughts
does that make it irrelevant or unlikely?
a note is all a minor's got
a chord is all that mirrors my thoughts
no strumming now. it's late.
reach out for another window soon
aboriginal essay due tomorrow noon.
i shall stay awake
dotting the i's and
and once in a while
stop to ponder about
crossing the t in to you.

2005-09-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

people like you
tend to want to tell everything
and nothing is kept from the outsider
who stands in the rain under everything but a drop of golden sun

square appeal

2005-09-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

i could grow up to become a tight, square, boxed-up souvenir of a man. and since it's too close to be ignored, i shall plough through in hope to harvest a characteristically defined crop circular personality.

a squeeze too much

2005-08-31T02:46:00.000-07:00

i carelessly squeezed the mostly empty tube of facial cleanser with a good clench of the left fist and lo, in my right palm far too much of the solution was seen. i slapped it onto my face and some went into my nose. what a strange feeling. anyway, my face is extra clean tonight. :) night

Mum

2005-08-20T01:44:00.000-07:00

this is mum when she was younger. that baby isn't me. i came along a little later. mum. why do i begin with mum? well, mum has been a huge part of my life for so long now. she has had her watchful eye on me. the woman who raised me still raises me today with great effort and selfless stamina. my heart was heavy then and it gets heavy again because mum worries oh too much. and i am such a difficult fellow to deal with oh so often. what more with a great distance that now separates us-the many miles of land and sea. but in this, i hope she learns something out of me. upward we go. she's done a great deal. mum sees me when there is poverty of speech as well as when there is wealth in having a heart for various subjects. i think mum knows me more than i think she knows. like a mobius strip, i seem to have one surface that can she have a finger run a whole way round. but then she can't seem to put her finger on it. at 18 plus, mum still sits in the chamber of my heart. i liken her to a pacemaker rather than an embolus anytime. lo, i shall grow. and mum knows that. love, john.